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Kevin M. Goodman -- Life Sketch
by LeeAnn L. Samsel in consultation with Kristen L. Goodman
For
those of you who don’t know me, Kris is my big sister. I like to tease her
about that because I’ve been bigger than her for over 20 years. Most of
you know that Kris and Carl have a habit of taking in strays, and I don’t mean
dogs and cats like normal people, that would be too easy. They take in
stray kids. This tradition started way before they moved to Bountiful.
When I was in college my friends and I were always welcome to crash on their
living room floor anytime we were in town.
They were kind enough to let me live with them when I moved to Salt Lake in
early 1989. I was still there when Kevin was born. Tony was 8 and
Aaron was 6. On the night of Kevin’s birth, Kris and Carl tried to wait
for me to get home to take care of the boys while they went to the hospital.
Kevin however had other plans. He wasn’t going to wait for me, so a
neighbor had to stay with the boys. Kevin was such a wiggler in his mom’s
tummy that he got a start on his scouting and tied a knot in the umbilical cord
and around himself. It was a miracle he was OK.
Kevin didn’t change much after that night. He was un-predictable, and did
pretty much what he wanted. If there was something Kevin wanted to do, he
would make it happen. If he didn’t want to do it, too bad. We just
never quite knew what to expect with Kevin.
The Goodman family moved to Bountiful when Kevin was almost a year old, so most
of our memories of him are here. The neighborhood got to know Kevin quite
well when he was only two. Carl’s sister and brother-in-law were visiting
them one weekend. Kris and Carl had to go to a wedding reception and Jay
agreed to stay with Tony, Aaron and Kevin while Rosalie took their older kids to
the Galleria. Tony was supposed to help keep an eye on Kevin. At the
last minute, Kris and Carl decided to take Kevin with them to the reception, and
told Rosalie. Unfortunately, Jay and Tony didn’t get the word. When
they realized that Kevin was missing, they looked everywhere, then Tony called
Bishop Jepsen. Within minutes, the entire neighborhood was searching.
Doug White and others were cruising the streets with their cell phones—the “big
brick” kind. The Relief Society sisters were inside going through
cupboards, hampers, and looking under beds—anywhere a little boy could hide.
When Kris and Carl came home, they were confused and frightened when they drove
into the circle and saw all the cars and people. In turn, the neighbors
were relieved when they saw that Kevin was sleeping peacefully in his car seat,
totally oblivious to the commotion his disappearance had caused.
For several years, the neighbors could count on at least one call a week, asking
them if they had seen Kevin anywhere. Or did they happen to have an extra
pair of shoes he had left at their house. We are grateful for the advances
in technology that brought cell phones into to our life. Kris calls it her
“leash” so the kids can always find her. Kevin’s phone was also a “leash”
so we could find him. Unfortunately, he often forgot it or let the battery
die, so we still had to call his friends looking for him.
His first friend was Richard Spratt and they were quite the duo. What
mischief one of them didn’t think of, the other one did. Once, when they
were three or four years old they disappeared while playing at Kevin’s house.
Kris tracked them to Richard’s house where they had crawled through the doggie
door and were inside, giggling and hiding..
Kevin also regularly escaped from Primary. He’d decide he didn’t want to
be there and just crawl through the hole in the fence and go home. I
remember when Kris was called to serve in the Primary, she told me it was so she
could keep an eye on Kev so the other leaders could do their jobs. Kevin’s
favorite Primary teacher was Bruce Spratt. We can hardly believe that
Bruce taught Kevin’s class for about three years, moving up with them each year.
That is a glutton for punishment.
Kevin hated blue collar work like helping clean the house or working in the
yard. He’d tell us he was going to be so rich that he would have maids to
clean up after him. He was good about doing projects, though. He was
the one Kris asked to change a light bulb or build the bookcase they bought.
It was fun to see the pride in his eyes when he completed the bookcase. We
saw that same glow when he designed and built a foam-core model of his idea for
a new school. He even made a small statue in the courtyard of the NUAMES
Blue Devil mascot.
Kevin
didn’t particularly enjoy school. As early as age 6, he ran away from the
school. We transferred him to a Montessori school and he thrived under
Teacher Marta’s direction. He went back to Boulton in 3rd grade, then to
Mueller Park Jr. for 7th and 8th Grade.
Kevin’s counselor at Mueller Park told us about a new high school that was
beginning in the fall of 2005. It was a charter school partially funded by
a grant from Bill Gates, called Northern Utah Academy for Math, Engineering, and
Science (NUAMES). The curriculum and program are designed for kids who are
college-bound and interested in technical fields. If they follow the
program, and take a few summer courses, they can actually have an Associate
Degree from Weber State by the time they graduate from High School. It was
a perfect place for Kevin—he planned to go to college and this would help him
get through faster. He loved it! He enjoyed most of his classes and he
loved his friends there. He was smart enough to do Physics, Engineering,
and Geometry as a 9th grader and often helped his friends with their work.
He could do anything if it was his idea. He just didn’t like to do his own
work because, well, because he was Kevin.
Kevin was left-handed and we jokingly used that to explain a lot of his
behavior. He had a totally unique way of looking at the world and relating
to people. If he thought about doing something, it was as if he had
already done it. He could remember small details of music he had heard
years before, but couldn’t remember to hand in his homework.
He could get along with almost anyone, older, younger, or his age. He
loved to be with his friends and would often tell us he had to go see someone
because they were sad or upset and needed him.
Kevin had a bunch of nicknames. Kev’yorn, Kev-Meister, and
K-Dawg were just a few. Kris nicknamed him “Crinkle-toes” (like twinkle
toes, but with a C) because his toes cracked whenever he walked around barefoot.
We teased him that he could never be a Ninja because he couldn’t sneak up on
anyone. His noisy toes always announced him coming down the hall.
Kevin’s
signature clothing style included low-rider jeans that his mom was constantly
telling him to pull up and cover his boxers, a tee shirt with a skateboard logo,
his skate shoes, and a hoody. He didn’t like to wear shorts, even in the
summer. He also loved his beanie, a nice cover-up when he didn’t want to
comb his hair. He loved to use his I-pod or CD player and I’m sure the hat
and long hair helped hide his wires and drove his teachers crazy.
Kevin loved his bed! It had a pillow top and was soft and comfy. Ever
since he was little, he has loved flannel pillowcases. He liked the feel
of the fabric against his face. His Gramma Larsen made him several, so he
could always have a flannel case on his pillows. He didn’t like to sleep
with a sheet, so he always ended up just wrapped in a quilt that his Gramma
made.
He liked his hair long, in his eyes, with little “wings” over his ears where it
curled. We teased
him about the length of his hair and even convinced him to get it trimmed twice
in the last year or so. He did have a few periods of short hair when he
would decide to just shave it all off. He’d enlist Tony’s help and they’d
enjoy shocking their mom.
Kevin liked lots of different foods and was willing to try new tastes even when
he was small. I think he was one of the only kids in his elementary class
who ate sushi. He also loved eating with chopsticks. He didn’t get
too excited about sweets though. I don’t think he got that from my side of
the family. Last year he even went on a “candy diet” where he didn’t eat
any candy for a whole year. He got paid $100 for his efforts—he considered
it easy money.
Kev’s favorite foods were Subway Club sandwiches with everything, Panda Express
Chow Mein and Orange Chicken, and the cheap Totino’s pizzas he would cook after
school. He loved his Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew and Barq’s rootbeer.
A special treat for Kevin was fresh pineapple. He conned his grandma into
cutting up a whole pineapple for him one day when he was at her house and didn’t
want to eat anything else.
For such a young guy, he was quite well-traveled. He went on family trips
to most of the western US, Florida and Hawaii. He loved Bear Lake and Lake
Powell. When he was twelve, he even got to go to England on a business
trip
with
Carl. Family vacations to Hawaii were great—he took all kinds of surfing
lessons to learn to board surf, windsurf and kite surf. And last year, he
went with his family to Chile to pick up Aaron from his mission and meet some of
the people Aaron taught. It was a wonderful experience for the whole
family.
Kevin had a lot of health problems that wouldn’t be obvious unless you knew him
well. He had asthma and was allergic to cats and dogs and some plants.
That made it difficult sometimes to play at his friend’s houses. He seemed
to catch every bug that came around and we spent a lot of time in Dr.
Coombs’ office. He suffered a lot from headaches and missed a lot of the
8th Grade because of them. Some were caused by sinus problems and he had
surgery to help with that. Then he was diagnosed with Mono and missed the
entire snowboarding season. That was way worse than being sick. The
migraines came next, along with a sleep phase disorder. He did pretty well
during the summer, but when school started again last fall, the headaches became
more severe, causing him to miss school and get further behind. This
increased his anxiety and his headaches. He spent a week in the hospital
in December getting a special IV treatment of migraine medicine, but it hardly
helped.
Despite all the medications and things we tried to do, Kevin was often in
pain—sometimes physical, sometimes mental. He struggled with Attention
Deficit Disorder, Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, Anxiety and Depression.
Getting out of bed in the morning was a major challenge and he didn’t always
make it to school. When he did go, if things got bad at school, he’d get a
headache and have to come home. The teachers and administration at NUAMES
were great to work with and incredibly patient with Kevin and his problems.
He was well-liked there in spite of his difficulties.
Kevin had all kinds of friends. He had cousins who were
good friends, friends at church, in the neighborhood, skateboarding friends,
video and computer game friends, friends he played chess with, and other friends
from school. He stayed after school a lot, assuring his mom that he was
there doing his homework so he didn’t have any to do at home. In reality,
we know he was just playing chess and hanging out. But that’s OK, because
he was happy and enjoying it.
This last week has been one of the hardest our family has faced, but we are so
grateful to have had the privilege of knowing Kevin and having him in our lives.
Thank you all for the love you have shown us and Kevin. We know you loved
him and he knows it too. He will remain in our hearts always.